Thoughts on the loss of a son

MAY 2, 2106

Goodbye Elder Stanger (dad)
Goodbye, son (Elder Packard)

Transfers were this week and Elder Stanger is now in Amsterdam. I remain here in Breda luckily. And my new companion is Elder Knaupp from Portland Oregon. He is 6´8" so we are a huge companionship with almost 13" of length between both of us. I was not sure that I would ever have a comp that is taller than me here because most of the missionaries in our mission are pretty short. He has a fantastic taste of music and we get along really well. He is also enrolled at BYU and will start his freshman year when he gets back. He has been out about 9 months now. 

On Wednesday, we had Konings Dag, which is a celebration fro the King. The Kings visited Zwolle this year, so those lucky missionaries may have gotten to see him. The weather was awful. It was about 10 Celsius and hailing. It hails here a lot. Usually it will switch from rain to hail to sunshine and start all over again. Today the weather was nice though. I am wearing short sleeves and only the tiniest bit cold. We got up really early to set up a booth in the park with the other missionaries in the district, but right after we finished setting up, we got kicked out because the park was reserved for children´s booths. That was weird because we called 2 months in advance to seek permission to set up. Anyway, we just walked around and proselyted in Breda and Tilburg for the day. It was exhausting. Konings Dag is not the best day to proselyte.

Thursdays are really good days to proselyte. We taught a man from Nigeria the first lesson. He had doubts about modern day prophets and the validity of the Book of Mormon, but he committed to come to church. And when he got there, there was actually a member he knew, surprise for us, surprise for him. In Gospel Principles, the lesson was about the organization of the first presidency and the role of the prophet, and it was super good. Our investigator Leo had a really good time and we have another appointment this week. After a long time spent knocking doors and street contacting, the funnel is stuffed and people are filtering through. 

We went to Raamsdonksveer again this week and the windmill there was by chance open, the only time of the the week it is ever open. This one was much bigger than the one we went in last week, and once again the guy let us in. It was really cranking. There were animals surrounding the mill, goats, ponies, chickens, geese, deer, etc. Super cool experiences. It has 4 or 5 levels, all attained by climbing ladders on the inside. 

There was a man that we talked to this week that was so angry with God for taking his two baby sons from him, each not more than a few months after they were born. It was one of the saddest conversations I have ever had. He did not want to listen to us, but he wondered how and why a loving God would ever let that happen. As we walked away, a story came to my mind of another Father who lost his son. This Father had never been ashamed of, disappointed or angry with his son. His son was divinely obedient. But a day came that some angry people tortured, crucified, and killed his son, and the Father had no choice but to watch. 

We are all rigidly subject to the pains and afflictions of this world, and you would think that we would have all figured that out by now. If that was all there was to this world, it would not matter whether we died in birth or at 80 years old. The truth of the matter is that there is more than just death, and we have a Heavenly Father to thank for that. Death was always inevitable for growth to take place. But salvation was never inevitable. It is the gift of our Heavenly Father -- delivered by Jesus Christ -- that allows us to look beyond the grave and find peace with our burdens. The world has changed the identity of God to be a scapegoat for our suffering, rather than the figure that offers a way out of our self-imposed fallen state. 

I wish that people would just listen and get it.